Sunday, March 28, 2010

Getting there

If I had blogged this morning, it would have looked something like this:

Holy crap, Sam, why won't you just sleep through the night?!? All the other babies are doing it! Can't you see what you're doing to us??? etc . . .

Instead I went on F.aceb.ook (the lazy blogger's best friend) and posted that I was so proud that Sam has mastered rolling from his tummy to his back.

That's right, I focused on the positive. I was bleary-eyed and exhausted. I waited for the kettle to boil, jealous that it was Dad's morning to sleep in. But instead of giving in to my frustration (as I had at 7 am when, after 6 wakings since bedtime and an unsuccessful attempt to convince Sam to sleep just-a-little-longer in bed with us, I tossed his rattly stuffie across the room then smiled at him and got up for the day) . . . instead of handing my entire day over to that frustration, I set it aside and chose to focus on the good stuff:

I have a full day ahead to be productive and spend time with my beautiful little family. And these earlier morning hours when the neighbourhood and my house are still quiet, are so special and memorable. Sam is very much a morning baby - he has lots to say, lots to fill me in on when he's been asleep for a while. He is full of smiles and giggles that are just for me in these moments while I wait for the kettle to boil. These tiny moments that I don't have to share with anyone else. No matter how rough a night we've had, all is forgotten when he flashes those truly joyful innocent morning smiles.

More than that, I remind myself that he is a healthy, loved, and most important of all, a present baby. He is here with us after so long and so much hope. I am grateful for every waking - and sleeping - moment with him.

More even than that . . . I win brownie points from Dad for letting him sleep in. Tomorrow morning it will be my turn :)

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But back to now. After raging this morning about when-will-this-kid-ever-sleep-more-than-3-hours-in-a-row-OMG-it's-been-6-months-and-I'm-so-freakin'-tired!!!! . . . after all that . . . Sam has been in bed for 4 hours and 15 minutes with only small peeps that have not required our attention. It's almost midnight, we've had a lovely evening with friends, homemade pizza, and wine. I should be in bed. I should be taking advantage of this.

But no. I decide to sit here, bleary-eyed, and blog. Because that's how I roll. So I guess I kind of deserve to be tired.

Oh - there's the boy now. Dad is up to bat first, I'm on deck. Time to brush my teeth and hope for another 4 hour chunk after this???

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