Sometimes you have to change your mindset so that a potentially (extremely!!) frustrating situation can become a little gift from the Universe.
For example, tonight I - surprisingly - have the night off. It's Friday (ha ha) so I thought for sure that I would get a call in to work. At the hospital where I work, usually a summer weekend + declined vacation = sick call. Not that I know for certain that someone had asked for this weekend off and didn't get it, but when there are close to 200 nurses on a unit and only a finite number of weekends in the summer, you can almost count on it. Anyway, a sick call leads to a staffing clerk phoning down the list of casual nurses to come in to cover. While I am low on the totem pole, a Friday night is not a popular shift so I was really surprised that I didn't get a call.
So now I have Friday night off. Unexpectedly. I didn't plan anything because I thought I'd be delivering babies. Therefore no social obligations. Sam is in bed. David is playing with his new tools in the garage. I have all this time to myself. Time that I crave and need. But I am overwhelmed with indecision about what to do. Too many options. Too many piles of books and magazines I want to read. Running shoes taunting me with guilt from the front door. A metric tonne of fabric to sort through in order to get back into some sewing projects. Several dirty rooms that need cleaning. About 12 bazillion photos that we've taken and downloaded onto my laptop that need to be culled and organized. A blog that is screaming for attention. And only 4 short hours between the end of dinner and exhausted collapse into bed.
I spent a few minutes staring at my fabric shelves in the garage . . . then walked away from THAT disaster. Right past my runners in the hall. With a glass of wine in my hand. Hm . . . I can read in bed later. Blog it will be!
But alas, my internet is down. I can't check email. I can't surf Crai.gslist for the rocking chair I am trying to find. I can't blog.
I CAN tackle the 12 bazillion photos on my hard drive. Yes, almost all of them are of Sam. Some are of the cats and huge zucchini.
The gift is that I didn't have to make the decision myself. I LOVE that! I know this is stupid, but I get anxious about all the things I want to do and don't have time to get done. I worry (irrationally) that I won't ever have the time to do it all. That my to-do list will just continue to get longer and longer and I will never have that oh-so-satisfying feeling of crossing things off of it. Stupid right? I know. I'm working on it. It's part of my not-being-so-hard-on-myself. I have taken a deep breath, made some tea, and accepted that I will only get (a portion) of one project done tonight. And that's ok. Because if I finished everything tonight, what will I work on tomorrow?
And ha ha Universe! I can write a blog draft offline to post later!
Here are some of the results of the interminable photo project:
It's true that in many of these photos Sam is in various stages of undress. But hey, it's summer and if we were all honest we'd have to admit that we'd all be naked if we could!